Judging from the marriage and divorce rates, all is not well for the institution of marriage. The dynamic equilibrium that once brought — and kept — men and women together has been disrupted. I explored a few aspects of this issue in my recent podcast episodes on the disappearance of “good” men and career women.
But, as you’re certainly aware, I’m not the only one who has noticed. Not remotely.
A growing cohort of men are deliberately dropping out of the marriage market altogether. These Men Going Their Own Way, or “MGTOW,” have by-and-large concluded that the deck is stacked against them in the modern mating game, and have made what they see as the only winning move.
Christian men are not exempt from this. Peter Pike of Triablogue recently wrote of the reasons for his own adoption of the MGTOW moniker.
If you really want to see just how bad things have gotten in relationships just find someone and ask: what do men provide women in a relationship? The answers you’ll get are typically going to be along the lines of finances, shelter, security, safety. Then ask: what do women provide men in a relationship? Listen to the crickets. Or, if you’re talking to a liberal, the screeches of how sexist you are for even asking the question and daring to presume women should provide anything to men in a relationship.
What this is also doing is creating the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement, in that more and more men are realizing that it is simply not worth getting married in the first place. When you know that a woman can take 50% of your income, the house, car, kids, and all that solely because you committed the grievous sin of believing her when she swore before God, “Until death do we part”, then who would rationally agree to this arrangement?
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As a result of all of this, what we are seeing is that women are far more likely to pull the trigger on divorce, and men are for more likely to never marry in the first place. Neither bode well for the continuation of the family structure. Which is probably Satan’s plan all along.
Even with that said, I have to admit that yes, I am basically MGTOW myself, in that I cannot recommend any man get married in today’s culture. I’m all for a Biblical marriage, but an American one? No. Save yourself from that travesty.
He’s not alone. Blogger Dalrock tends to have a great deal of representation from MGTOW Christians in his comments section. Again, the common refrain tends to be that in present-day America, marriage is outright dangerous.
In fact, even TALKING about that fact can be dangerous. But that’s exactly what my guest, known by the social-credit-score-preserving moniker Turd Flinging Monkey (TFM), does professionally.
A brief caveat: Turd Flinging Monkey is not a Christian. Moreover, his video channel is certainly Not Safe For Work, and should be viewed with discernment. This interview is not meant to be an endorsement, but is rather for informative purposes, meant to convey the ideas which undergird the MGTOW path.
And this because, in my research on the MGTOW phenomenon, I’ve not found anyone who is as articulate, knowledgeable about the subject, fluent with the data (especially on the economics front), and open to sharing in audio form as TFM. Whatever disagreements we have — and there are more than a few — his work as a MGTOW pundit is vast and impressive, as is the influence it has on that community. When it comes to understanding MGTOW, I don’t know of anyone better to ask.
I’m very grateful to TFM for taking the time to give me his take — as a MGTOW — on the issues beleaguering the present year marriage marketplace, as well as a slew of issues tangential to that reality.
To reiterate: the intersexual dynamic equilibrium that defines a healthy marriage market has been lost. As a consequence, MGTOW and career spinsterhood are on the ascendence.
Related:
Christianity’s Manhood Problem (Art of Manliness)
Entitlement, Responsibility, and Authority – A Thought Experiment (Matthew Cochran)
As Christianity Declines, So Do Stable Relationships and Marriage (Wintery Knight)
We Teach Boys That Marriage Doesn’t Work (Fabius Maximus)
LCMS President Matt Harrison on “Be Fruitful and Multiply” (Lutherans and Procreation) (See also the Journal of Lutheran Mission Dec. 2016 issue preface by the president)
The Estate of Marriage (Martin Luther)
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